Janky Jersey Motel

Here's a little narrative I wrote describing our experience with the “Great” state of New Jersey. Please enjoy:

Its getting late. Philadelphia stretches off in the night horizon. The weary travelers are exhausted and searching for a place to sleep for the night. They cross a bridge into New Jersey and immediately red flags go off in their minds, but exhaustion quickly overrides. A Motel 6 in the distance calls out to them. The travelers park their car and enter the building.

The woman behind the glass stands there as if she doesn't see them but they know she does. The woman looks skanky. Finally she approaches and assists the travelers in acquiring a room.

The travelers unload their bags into the room, one cautious, the other sleepy. Cautious takes a look around while Sleepy uses the restroom. After he steps back into the room Cautious shows him the cigarette burns in the sheets. Sleepy finally grasps the awful condition of the room. They quickly decide to leave.

Back at the office one of the Travelers approaches the window and the woman asks if she can help.

“Yeah, we're not going to stay.”

The woman seems confused.

“We're just not going to stay.”

“I'm not s'posed to after fifteen minutes,” said the Skank.

It had been less, the travelers having only had time to enter the room and be disgusted. Just then a typical New Jersey man enters behind the travelers and cuts in front of them. He begins speaking with a heavy New Jersey accent.

“Excuse me sweetheart, this is the wrong room.”

“Nu-uh I gave you the right one.”

“No you didn't because I just opened the door and there was someone in there, started yelling at me.”

The skank looks down at a piece of paper.

“What room?”

“320.”

“Nu-uh I said 220.”

“Well this card is for 320, not 220.”

“I gave you 220.”

The man starts to raise his voice.

“Why you putting this on me sweetheart? This is the third time I've been down here and I'm starting to get upset.”

The woman tries to mumble back to the man but he cuts her off.

“Hey, you know I love you but...I'm started to get kinda pissed off here.”

They resolve their issue and the travelers are only reassured about their decision to leave. The woman turns her attention back to them.

“I'm not supposed to give a refund after 15 min.”

“It hasn't even been 15 minutes, please,” said one.

“Come on,” said the other with assertion, “We're not staying.”

The woman mumbles something but reluctantly gives them the refund. The travelers head for the car and one whispers to the other.

“Let's get the f*** out of New Jersey.”

The other laughs and then they drive as far away as possible, weariness finally taking the backseat to new priorities.